#I am so sorry if some things don't make sense :'

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Throwing in my two pence here. This might get a little extensive and confusing, since I'm not great with words, so bear with me and trust me, ok?

First pence goes to this. Small thing on this being a non scripted series, yes, this is very true. None of the "curses" and stuff are planned, any references are usualy just thrown in for fun because the creators love watching us make our own stories and art, and Martyns lore is mostly his own AU that isn't connected to the main series.

But fandoms love making their own interpretations of stories, like Martyn does. It's why I have no problem with the "blessings and curses" of each participant. It's just the fan interpretations of funny coincidencs. The AUs we make. The fan content, artwork and stories, we make with the sturdy base of the life series. Jimmy and Martyn love reacting to fan made content, angsty or silly. They are loving it for the craft that it is! But they aren't canon, and never will be. Both sides know this. Scott's blessing won't always work, Grians widow curse won't always happen, and Jimmy's canary curse won't always play out quite the same as others expect it to do. Speaking of...

Time for that second penny. My interpretation of the Canary curse.

To me, the canary curse was NEVER about Jimmy being out first. It was NEVER about how he is bad at minecraft. It was NEVER about his permadeath being the the first one every time.

It was always about the chaos that came afterwards.

He wasn't cursed to die first, he was just the catalyst of disaster. When players would start to die left, right and center. It was a moment in every series where the red names would stack up and start to kill more and more, because now that a player had fallen, a sense of desperation falls across everyone. Dying first 4 times was just an unfortunate coincidence.

Jimmy is not awful at the game, he has some good skills. We can talk about that in a bit though.

The Canary in the coalmine might sometimes die to warn the coal miners of the poisons, but their silence without death speaks the exact same message.

Jimmy isn't cursed to die. Jimmy is blessed with a warning to everyone else that the end ic coming and discord wii be upon them soon.

And that warning is just his silence, through life and death.

He does not need to die for the Canary curse to come calling. Not to him. But to everyone.

Chucking in one extra penny, I would like to say that I very much think he can win. Genuinly, not having a laugh, not mocking it, and i'm not listening to anyone else. Session 3 gave me a scare, and i started doubting it, but i told myself (and Jimmy in chat) that i believe, and I was right to. Session 4 was amazing for him.

Jimmy is not bad at the game by any means. He can just be very unlucky. Events don't always line up for him so he ends up looking more incompetent than he is.

But when they do, well, just look at his 1v3 in dodgebolt and how he won the tournament for the crown in empires season 1, and remember how he spent the majority of Last life on YELLOW. And even episode 4 of wild life with how well he did in that session. I'm not saying he's the greatest minecraft player of all time because he does have his moments of lacking braincells like we all get, but he has got some skills. He just likes to mess about a bit to make things a little more entertaining for his viewers, he plays with his viewers in mind, but when he locks in, he very much locks in. And I love it.

I do still think he can win a life series. If not this one, maybe another one in the future. But I think he can do it. And if only one person in this universe believes that, then I am that one person.

Right, sorry if anything came off rude, im not the best at phrasing stuff so i might of misworded somethings here and there by accident. Again sorry if i did. I'm not here to change opinions, just to share my own. I'll leave now.

cries because everybody in this fandom sees the thought of Jimmy winning as a laughable impossibility and even people who say they're rooting for him only mean it as a joke and whenever you mention that he's doing good people have to let you know that it won't last long and inevitably he will die first because of some stupid self-fulfilling prophecy that got turned into my least favorite fanon ever. why can't he just be like a player who has a chance just like everyone else does. have you stopped to consider WHY he dies first so often? it's not a curse. this isn't a scripted series. it's because he's incredibly pacifistic and because people generally don't want to help him because they consider him a weak player. both of these things have been done away with this season, he has a taste for blood and an ally who is both incredibly underrated in his strength and has said he would never betray him. jimmy has as much a chance as anyone else.

[animeyanderelover]

This will be my first request, I am very happy because I LOVE your writing.

Alas aside, Yandere falls in love with a woman older than them who is very maternal for having a child, when he proposes she rejects him because she feels that they should not waste themselves on a woman who already has a child (You can do with the father whatever you want ).It would be with Atsushi, Akutagawa, Daichi Sawamura, Oikawa and if you want to add any more I don't mind

Sorry for my bad english😘😘

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, manipulation, stalking, threats, violence

Tags: @shumidehiro @leveyani

You shouldn’t waste your time on me

Sawamura Daichi

🌅​Cries of a small child are what guide him through the crowds on that day, his eyes flickering over the people before they finally land on the boy who is standing there all alone. Upon asking him what happened the child tells him that he got distracted and lost his mother. As not only a police officer but also a decent human being Daichi immediately helps, asks the boy where him and his mother were last together and if he knows where his mother planned to go. If worst comes to worst and he won't be able to find the boy's mother he'll just ask the boy where he lives and will bring hm home to wait together with him until his mom returns. Luckily it never comes that far as Daichi is able to find you after half an hour of searching, the boy instantly leaving his side and running to you with tears in his eyes. He's far too humble in your eyes as he is confronted with your gratefulness, tells you that he only did his job and that anyone would have helped a crying child. Still, you make some small talk with him as you ask for his name and both of you start talking for a while with each other. That's how he finds out that you recently moved to the Miyagi prefecture with your child and live close to his neighbourhood.

🌅​The fact that he doesn't live far away from you and that he helped your child are major reasons that aid the two of you in getting so close to each other. Also, your son's dream is it to work for the police later on so he obviously views Daichi as his hero, something that flusters the man deep down a lot more than he shows. He visits you once a week when he has a free day, often bombarded with questions from your son about his job until you softly chide your child for his uncontrolled excitement. You admit to him relatively early that you moved here because your husband died and your parents live nearby as you also need to work and need someone to look after your son. Hearing that your husband died strangely enough makes more sense to him than if someone would have divorced you as only an ignorant fool would have let someone like you go. Daichi is not even going to deny his own feelings, he knows that he's extremely attracted to you. You're kind yet not too coddling, you're responsible and patient, you listen to the worries of others and are always willing to help where you can. Watching you raising your son sometimes reminds him of his high school days, a fond look on his face.

🌅​Daichi is able to stay patient in spite of his obsession, especially if the loss of your husband has been very recent. He gives you time, he allows you to grieve and focuses in the meantime on helping you and your child to integrate into the new city. The thing is that he fills that role of a supportive husband and father so nicely that neighbours and even your own parents and son can't help but support the two of you getting together. When you reject him he is a bit disheartened but he takes it really well because he realises that you didn't do so because you do not love him. You reject him because you feel not good enough but that in itself is still quite hurtful. You're such a wonderful person after all. He doesn't mind the little age gap nor does he think of you less because you have a child. In fact he's grown very fond and protective of your son who you have raised wonderfully. Still, it's wiser to not pressure you so he steps back for now. His confidence remains though, knowing that you didn't deny not being able to see him as a partner. He'll just stay in your life as a pillar of support for now and will slowly make you realise that you are everything but a waste to him.

Oikawa Tooru

👑​After a difficult divorce you make the decision to completely change your life and decide to try to reach for a dream you had when you were younger but gave up later on, deciding that you might not make it. It's better to try and fail then to never take the step. After many months of interviews, exchange of mails and documents you receive the news though. You did it. You're one of the managers for your favorite volleyball club, Club Athletico San Juan. You're so joyous, almost feel like a school girl all over again as you read the letter over and over again, kicking your feet and grinning like an idiot. Oikawa is still Oikawa even if he is by now an adult, his charming attitude still there as soon as you're introduced to the team as their new manager. His other teammates just watch with half amusement and half pity as Oikawa's charm ultimately never works. Sure, he manages to charm people quickly but he never manages to hold a relationship and they would hate for their setter and new manager to be on bad terms from the very start. You, with the divorce still freshly on your mind though, put your foot firmly down and clarify it to Oikawa very clearly that you have no intention of dating.

👑​Obviously Tooru is miffed about your blunt rejection yet another part of him can't help but respect your determination. You know what you want to focus on and he wants to acknowledge that, especially since he is essentially the same. The keyword here is want because who would have thought that his feelings would slip out of his grasp of control so quickly? You know when to put him and his childish antics in his place, chiding him almost as if he were a child and the experience feels only more realistic when he realises that you're a few years older than he is. The fact that you work so closely with him only enables him to be very overbearing as he dreams up all kinds of minor inconveniences so that he has something to complain about to have your attention on himself. Your daughter is a shocker as you have never talked about your private life before and whilst other players gush over your child he gives her a strange look at first, his mind trying to process what it could mean. He pesters you privately about it, his eyes desperate and his body tense. The tension leaves his body at least partially when you admit with a heavy sigh that you had a rough divorce before you started working here.

👑​Oikawa doesn't take the rejection very well, his heart dropping even though it doesn't have to do with the fact that you don't see him that way. Still, it is hard to stay logical with a heart as sensitive as his, especially since he is prone to being delusional. He just doesn't understand. What is it that he could have done better?? He has made it more than obvious that he is deeply in love with you. He's showered you in presents, constantly demands your attention and has even made the effort to get closer to your daughter despite initial caution he held. Is that still not enough?? What do you want him to do?? Please tell him what he as to do in order for you to accept. Honestly, your maternal instincts will come quite in handy as you're confronted with Tooru whilst his feelings threaten to burst out of him. Because it helps him to calm down and gives him the reassurance he so desperately craves from you in that moment. Nevertheless though, he ramps up his affection from a 10 to an 11 after that incident. If the problem is simply that you don't feel good enough he will change your mind. You're forgiven this one time. Do not reject him a second time though or else he might just make your job more difficult.

Nakajima Atsushi

🐅​The gentle love of a parent is a notion so foreign to Atsushi that the first encounter he has with you leaves him almost on the edge. Your kind words, the patient look in your eyes, the warmth and comfort you provide him with by simply being in the room threatens to burst his heart right at the seams. After cold deprivation for as long as he can remember your presence feels like being drowned in a bathtub filled with hot water. It's overwhelming almost, scorches his skin yet he gladly submerges himself in the heat and the sensations that come with it. He's almost immediately infatuated with you, finds himself yearning for your affection in his dreams as well as in the real world. The age difference is something that weights on his soul though as he realises how experienced you are and how clumsy he seems to be in comparison. There's a lack of knowledge with certain machines or customs that he hasn't been exposed to due to his time in the orphanage but he is always too ashamed to tell you about it. Adamant to not let himself look like a young fool in front of you, Atsushi simply refuses to ask for help or advice from you. He wants to prove to you as well as himself that he can provide for you.

🐅​As shameful as it is, there is an undeniable twinge of jealousy directed against your own child. He envies the little boy for being able to cling to you as often as he does as those are all things Atsushi desperately wishes to do as well. He wants to be held, comforted and loved by you too but he could never admit such things as he stares at your son. What would you think of him after all if he were to confess to you that he feels jealous of your own child? It doesn't stop him from clenching his hands into fists every time he witnesses you giving affection to your son, nails turning into claws as he imagines what it would be like if he were to be the one in your child's position. You and your husband have parted ways a few years ago but you still keep in contact due to the child and that just about kills Atsushi. It takes always more willpower than it should to not outright growl at the man whenever he visits. Atsushi can't even fathom how a man could let someone like you go and occasionally he imagines what it would be like to just tear that man apart whenever his jealousy gets the better of him. Chances aren't exactly zero for Atsushi to confront your ex-lover and accidentally kill him during an argument.

🐅​The beast within him tries to tame itself as good as it can for you even if results are mixed. With time he grows closer to your child though he struggles to be a parent for the little boy as he more than once acts just as childish and needy. Still, he does his best to show you that he can protect and provide for you and your child all whilst seeking emotional comfort from you. It has taken him a good chunk of courage to finally confess to you only to be met with a direct blow to his heart. The shock of your rejection numbs him for a few seconds before the weight comes crushing down. He hyperventilates, he cries, he bites his bottom lip bloody and his nails threaten to rip through the skin of his palms. That is only because he does misunderstand your rejection as you telling him that you have no interest in him. Once he has come to understand that you didn't reject him for that reason hopefully he manages to calm down at least a bit. That means that he still has a chance, doesn't he? Still, he feels like it's his fault for not having made it clearer to you just how deeply infatuated he is with you. That has to change now. Hopefully some of his seniors can give him useful tips how to woo you.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

⬛​It is through Gin that Akutagawa finds out about you as his beneath the mask quite shy sister has befriended you and finds herself visiting your small shop once a week. Whilst he is anything but an overbearing brother this piece of information still manages to stick to him. It's the first time he has heard that Gin has made friends with someone outside the Mafia and initially he starts directing hostility against you. Akutagawa isn't an individual to trust easily as he distrusts with far more confidence and this is what he finds himself doing against you. Who are you? Are you really just a regular citizen? His sister assures him that you are not some spy nor does she plan to give you any information about the Port Mafia or her real identity but for Akutagawa actions speak louder than words. He finds himself stalking you occasionally, dark eyes trailing after you. A scoff appears on his face the moment he notices the boy following you, realising that you have a child. How naive you must be, keeping a child whilst involving yourself with a mafioso. If you really are just a normal person you must have no motherly senses at all or else you wouldn't hang out casually with Gin.

⬛​Akutagawa never had a mother who raised him as he has grown up in a violent environment from a very young ago. None of his mentor figures have ever given him even an ounce of affection which has led him to believe that love is a weakness. A weakness he has fallen victim to. A part of him itches to use Rashomon to tear you and that little brat apart yet he holds himself back. Partially because his emotions are messy and partially for his sister's sake as she cherishes you. It's Gin he turns to as his curiosity grows and it is through her he finds out most information about you. The most pressing issue for him is who the father of your son is and even if Gin tells him that you have parted with the guy long before your child was born that doesn't stop Akutagawa's urges to rip that man apart for his mere existence. Stalking you becomes quite difficult, his possessive side flaring up the moment you talk to another man and give him a smile. It's the horrified gaze of his sister that holds him back but that is no guarantee that it'll work every single time. Only to his sister is he able to admit his conflicting feelings to you and both of them know that it is only a question of time when you will find out.

⬛​Still, even if it comes that far Gin wishes for her brother to not terrorise and hurt you even with his obsession. She cares for Akutagawa but you're still her friend and she likes your child as well. She wants him to attempt to confess to you the normal way at least once and if you reject him she kind of knows that there's little she can do. Unable to live with herself if she wouldn't try though Gin introduces her brother to you who finds himself incredibly awkward as he is completely out of his comfort zone, easily irritated and with little patience, especially when your son is around. Big chance that Gin is lurking around in the distance when Akutagawa tries confessing, already looking like he is glaring at you. He honestly only knows what to do in case you reject him because you don't like him which is instantly doing what he can do best. Inflicting fear upon you whilst using Rashomon. He isn't prepared for you rejecting him because you think he shouldn't bother with you and is left so perplexed with that answer that he just stares at you for a good while. Ultimately this only delays the abduction though because it'll still happen. He's promised Gin to not harm your son though.

[deoidesign]

Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.

Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!

Hi there!

Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!

It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!

I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha

I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then

I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...

The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.

It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.

Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.

I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.

I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.

[ruvviks]

we would sell anything just to buy who we're not // we kill our way to heaven

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

.

[capybaraonabicycle]

Doctor: Huh, is that who I am now?

Donna: It was never that far from the surface, mate.

Doctor: frowns Yes, it was! You know I used to be a woman. And that made people... assume all sorts of stuff. And - and pretending to be Graham's wife for five minutes was bad enough but - Byron? That was torture. Does the man ever stop talking?

Donna: Takes one to know one

Doctor: Oi! I just mean, there were all these men people assumed I would be into and I - and I just - I just wanted -

Donna: I know, darling.

Doctor: softly I just wanted Yaz.

Donna: I know. - There was one man, though, remember?

Doctor: No, there wasn't! I don't fancy the Master!

Donna: ...

Doctor: Okay, fine. But the Master isn't a man. He's like me! Flexible - uh - timelord gender and stuff.

Donna: Sure.

Doctor: So, anyway, I have always been primarily into wom-

Donna: What about Jack Harkness?

Doctor: - Jack doesn't count, everyone fancies Jack.

Donna: ...fair enough.

[raynecloud06]

Hi. Idk how to start this, so let's just get right to the chase.

I had the silly little idea to make an alt blog here on Tumblr, that is solely dedicated to my silly little project SEKAI AU ideas for based on many different cards. Not full fledged storylines or anything of the sort, just some basic ideas.

I have a few reasons for this; A) I enjoy making au ideas, but I cannot for the life of me actually do anything substantial with them, B) I've shared, like, two au ideas here on my main blog before and a few people seemed to like those, and C) I want to take requests on this blog, which would give me the chance to branch out to au ideas and aus involving ships (mostly romantic, but also platonic) that I wouldn't have otherwise.

(Also, these ideas will all be free to use so long as you credit and/or tag me. And while I do have some personal "don't"regarding requests, I believe they're pretty small and outside of them, you can go hog wild.)

Still gotta actually get all the rules and stuff a bit more finalized before I can actually make the blog and junk, but I decided to do a poll first to see if people would even be interested in something like that. So...

(It's totally fine if the answer is no btw. If I get more no's than yes's, then I'll just keep posting any au ideas i really love on here occasionally. This is just to see if people would be interested in at least following a blog like that.)

(Also, I don't think I shared a lot of details regarding this, so if you have any questions you want to ask at any point, please do, and I'll answer them to the best of my ability!)

Have a wonderhoy day :D

[incesthemes]

hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️

omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately

i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother

that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have

(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)

anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that

[x-adoringvoid-x]

Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'

[babygirlificationn]

Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking, but as a digital artist, what do you think needs improvement in our art community?

Hi! i wouldn't exactly say that ive noticed any problems that need improvement or that i even am a member of the overall digital art community tbh. But what i do love about my small circle of artists mutuals is that we tend to always reblog and get excited over each others work. Expecting such a thing from the entire userbase of this site is rather unrealistic so i think that everyone should be a part of a small group of insane mutuals. Its good for u.

[a-s-levynn]

.

[master-of-the-railway]

Relating to your post on the subtle angst of being a machine, I hunger for all the possible physical angst elements. Where is the fear of limited or increasingly costly repair parts? Where is the worry of the shrinking pool of mechanical experts (engine troubleshooters)? The simple inescapable awareness that one's moving parts are constantly degrading? Horror relating to corrosive/damaging environments? Complex emotional trauma and strange coping mechanisms in response to the reality of their entire "family" slowly *literally* falling apart?

YES!!! YESS!!! FUCK YES!!! SOMEONE THAT GETS IT!!!!!

going to. put this under the cut bc I have SO MUCH TO SAY.

You get it SO well, so many good points there. All things come to an end, and engines especially can be kept alive for over a hundred years if they are well taken care of, but there's so many who are not as valued or who simply cannot be taken care of as well as their owners want to take care of them. And they can rarely do things about it. It's honestly admirable that some of the Sodor engines have worked so hard to protect and preserve their fellow rolling stock. Oliver is a beloved little engine, but he likely stays up some nights thinking about how if Douglas hadn't happened upon him, he wouldn't even be here right now. He'd have been melted down ages ago. Not to bring up Hiro again but he is literally the first engine that comes to mind when I think of this sort of thing. He went to Sodor so excited to be helpful and useful and was promptly abandoned not long after he'd broke down. He was stuck there for god knows how long and if Thomas hadn't found him, by accident mind you, he would've corroded and died there most likely. And yet he would've rather done that then get scrapped. Almost as if he wanted to pass away on his own terms. Like I mentioned before, we're shown often that most of the kind-hearted engines (specifically on Sodor) will put forth their best effort to keep any machine out of the smelters. Thomas listened to Hiro's story and was likely deeply disturbed that Hiro had been abandoned like that and not a single person dared to look hard enough to find him when he was still on Sodor this whole time. But with his horror, came understanding, because he knows the reality of even some of the most famous locomotives at times can be harsh and even deadly. And Spencer showed no care or concern at all, not only that, but he almost seemed delighted to inform Sir Tophamn Hatt of Hiro's existence purely to ensure that he was scrapped. He knew nothing about Hiro. He doesn't even LIVE on Sodor. And yet he took great pride in the concept of getting the old engine scrapped. As if that does not mean the very end of an engine's life. It's honestly really unsettling to me how quickly Spencer jumped to that conclusion. Not to mention the tearful horror in Hiro's voice when he was yelling out to Thomas whilst trying to get away from Spencer.

Henry was locked in a tunnel for fearing the rain would damage his coat. How often did he beg those workers that would come by to let him out? How many times do you think he cried feeling like he'd failed his entire railway and that he'd never be released again? There was no sympathy shown for him. And no acknowledgement to the terror he very likely felt for the time he was trapped there in that tunnel. He got sick not long afterwards, the anguish he went through in that time period was probably something awful. Most all machines are at the mercy of their employers. They don't have the appendages to escape the situations they get in that some humans might be able to get out of. If you deprive any machine of their fuel they cannot go anywhere. If you refuse to repair them they cannot go anywhere or function properly. There's a reason they pride themselves on being really useful. If you're not really useful, you're either sent away or you're...well...sent somewhere to be scrapped. It's the way the world works with real, non-sentient machines...and it seems like the TTTE universe operates on those same principals despite being a world where 99% of all heavy machinery is alive and can think and speak for themselves. Sometimes it's just progression, sometimes it's business, but at no time is it ethical. They are alive. They have wants and desires and emotions and fears, yet very few of the humans in their world seem capable of understanding that. There's so many scary things that come with being an engine. If you're too slow and you get less done than a new model, you're likely done for unless somebody cares enough about you to take you in and restore you. Sodor seems to work overtime to preserve old rolling stock, I'm sure they would've taken incredible care of Hiro had he not went home to Japan, and it seems like they did miss him there considering that he's still very well taken care of when he comes to visit Sodor after he'd moved back home. But there's so many engines who don't have that luxury. Hiro just as well could've been sent back or left sitting still, of course whoever owns him now clearly cares for him a great deal. The other types of machines aren't as touched on as our beloved engines are, but they surely experience the same kind of stuff. Airplanes may just as easily feel the same anxieties as old steamers do. They get antsy when they can't fly because what is a plane good for if it can't get off the ground? There's just SO many things to talk about. I really do think the fandom should include things like this in angst content more bc there is a lot of the show's own canon that is genuinely unsettling when put into real world perspectives.

[gothamcityneedsme]

time displacement is great :D

Oh! Thank you so much! I do want to go back to it someday but that's not on my docket atm. It is near and dear to my heart though.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

📒‼️‼️‼️

Warning: on PC it takes 8 lenghts of the screen to look through the entire draft, I think posts are a little wider, but still

So, this is something I'll never write out because it has the core elements of most of my daydreams: unrequited feelings for Kokichi, unnecessary martyrdom and overpowered self-insert original character

meet the Ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl, they were born out of my reading of the "Obligatory Chatfic", it stays focused on v3, but I wanted to play with the ideas of all the classes interacting together after going through their games in vr, and Hope's Peak having history of human experimentation on students, putting all of them through it so casually because They ARE The Bad Guys and have been doing this shit to students for decades like they're free lab rats

My OC joins the v3 class about a month or two after they left the simulation, bullshits something about special circumstances for transferring at that point, makes some suspiciously too accurate guesses about people, as if playing Sherlock Holmes, jokes about being a whore after revealing their talent, seems to be under the influence, but they say it's just jet-lag, they arrived freshly from America. And on the first lunch break they have an obnoxious reunion with Junko, they've partied together many times before, after clicking instantly on some formal fashion-related celebrity event. They throw an ice-breaker karaoke on the soonest free Friday evening to show the v3 babies how to party, at least the select few that decide to come (as most doesn't want to be anywhere near Junko or parties), notably, Kamukura is also there, he's always close to at least one of my two girlies. Generally, they make a big deal out of music, quote lyrics, assign people songs (a part of their "too accurate guesses" gimmick), make karaokes a regular thing, Junko rarely joins the later ones, it actually becomes a v3 class thing they wanted it to be in the end, but in the meantime they bring in various friends they make at HPA.

Their immediate & obvious crush on Ouma makes everyone cringe and brace themselves, thinking it'll crash and burn sooner rather than later as they'll get to see more of his personality, but they become friends, as our MPDG collects all outcasts and freaks of this school, but those who pay attention can tell they give extra attention to Kokichi, so those observant classmates (minus Saihara, who, of course, doesn't know) are waiting for them to realize that Kokichi is pining after Shuichi (but they know that, they knew from the start, they don't mind). They gush about him a lot, both to Junko and Izuru, sometimes to Miu, but as a running joke where she always reacts with fake gagging, highlighting how amazing it is that he doesn't want anything from them, that he makes them feel free (watch my aro ass re-invent being lithromantic on accident, I had this OC for... more than a year, and heard this term while having this in the draft). They spoil Ouma as their bestie, but since they're touchy with all their friends (and more touchy with people they want something from, using their talent to manipulate) and throw grand gestures left and right they play it off, even though their jealousy shows around Saihara sometimes. They have a brief phase where they took on an appearance that was just Saihara with their spice added (brighter hair, bolder make-up, expensive suit with suspenders... they disappeared for a bit after that stunt, equal parts ashamed and proud for pulling it off), they like intimidating him and asking him questions he doesn't know how to answer. They have mood swings between trying to wingman for saiou and antagonizing Shuichi, circling around him, during a particularly bad episode they decide to seduce him like everyone who stands in their way (even though they still wouldn't pursue Kokichi if he wasn't in the way).

As people start to notice they know too much to really be just analysing what they see & that they seem to grow lost in their increasing amount of notes (carrying a bunch of notebooks, recording their voice) and in their head (spacing out, repeating themselves, changing personas faster) they throw out pieces of their convoluted backstory to cause a distraction. How they ran away and don't talk to their mom. How their first heartbreak changed them. The many friends they lost in their time in Hollywood, not to mention partners, it's always others that the death touches so don't worry about them. Izuru gives them knowing side-glances and takes them on breaks, those two have Talks about life that tend to go nowhere. Sometimes Junko joins them and they only mean less and probably smoke. (I am super averse to smoking, but this one just has to, so yeah, the trio does). It's revealed that they are so close as a trio because they have a shared lab and work on something together (Enoshima technically has a second lab as a fashionista, but this is an analyst, MPDG & "Hope" lab). It also becomes known at that stage that they disappeared from Hollywood nearly a year before they officially joined HPA. They use Shuichi's curiosity about the matter to get closer to him & succeed in their goal.

The truth is they were originally offered to be the Ultimate Actress in Junko's year, but turned that down (important: they already knew Junko at that point) and got scouted again under a different name, from a school in some small town in another state after using that place as testing grounds for their plan, polishing their skills and purposefully pulling some shit to get scouted on their own terms. And it's pulled out of them in a full story instead of little hints by Kokichi, because (as he doesn't know what they did to Shuichi) they're best friends and he can't be easily distracted from warning signs that he knows from experience. They get him in on the plan to destroy Hope's Peak. Yes, they knew about the human experimentation before they came there, always hanging around older rich people with their "I'll fuck my way to the top" mentality allowed them to hear lots of stories from the prestigious world that are otherwise kept under wraps, and meeting Junko when she was recently scouted, looking into it and willing to talk about it solidified the idea they had about the place.

Even without knowing much they were growing convinced that the whole showbiz world is rotten to the core and Talent is a bad thing that burns you out, they watched people die chasing fame and ones becoming hollow once they got it, how everybody seems unhappy and only wants more of something, exactly just how fake all that jazz is. They make many comments about being expected to die young & beautiful, getting irrelevant if they don't, being special just because they're tragic, how being gifted fucks up kids, how this isn't designed for them but for people who watch them. They look at Hope's Peak and see what it symbolizes. And they want it gone.

So they say they accepted HPA's second scouting (without coming clear to them about the previous one being them as well), and became Ultimate MPDG, since they were late to join the class, their participation in this year's project was studying its events and assisting everyone's recovery with their talent. That is not the whole truth, just enough of it to make Kokichi think it is. The half-true reason for proceeding slowly with the plan to burn down the school is avoiding suspicion and making sure everything will go right. They don't buy big quantities of gasoline, not from one place, not with one face. They acquired the building plan and mapped out how the fire should spread. They collected the files with all the dirt on HPA. They arranged for a date when students won't be inside, when they will be at an event and therefore have alibis. They prepared their escape. It makes sense for Kokichi to believe that all the planning is what's wearing them down, he did think they had something in common there.

But they omitted that they enter virtual reality on a daily basis, that they die in it more often than not, that they're helping develop it and the main reason they were scouted this time was their ability to switch personas on a whim and become them, creating full lives as if they actually lived them and being able to contain those multitudes. They wanted to push that potential, to push the VR's limits and see how much it can manifest and how real it can feel. They're testing how it affects them, reducing the time needed to recover after a death, disconnecting from the body via replacing it with various avatars, separating it into elements that can be controlled & don't need to be in the same place or even present at all for other elements to work, turning sensations into sliding scales that can be manipulated. Junko and Izuru also enter the vr, usually there's one person observing from the outside and two in the simulator, but it's MPDG that took on the "effects of repeated deaths as time progresses" test, and it's eating away at them. They're losing touch, dissociating a lot, forgetting the boundaries of the real world and their mortality. And most importantly, that they've been doing it since before v3.

They've been at the academy since they got scouted, which not only wasn't late for the start of v3's first school year, it was late in the previous one, v3 applied some things they were testing out and when they found out it was happening they stormed headmaster's office and demanded to join their classes and oversee their recovery, because they were supposed to be the Head Researcher (it seemed beneficial to have them see it this way, who knew they'd be this bossy?) of this, and they were not done testing, so why the hell did you use this on a whole class of ultimates?! There are still things with defined plans of improvement, besides the applied features that might have side effects, months of work load on their project, this wasn't in their plans. Really, in the moment they might be more livid about it being outside their control, done without their knowledge, not to mention approval, one that they would not give.

Feeling for those inside comes with watching the footage. They're not a very empathetic person though, there certainly is sympathy, but that's mostly for the ones they grew to have positive opinions of. Now, unlike the real me, MPDG learned to hide their negative feelings quite well, they're used to acting nice with people they dislike, but that's when it aids their goal. They do not feel like they have to be nice to Momota, there's nothing they want from him, they're trying to get Maki and Shuichi away from him and his influence, actually. In a timeline that doesn't end in tragedy they could be convinced to give him a chance, get to know him for real, deal with the feeling of self-recognition through another (derogatory) and both of them would come out of it as better people, bickering in more friendly ways, helping keep each other's burst of righteous anger contained. But in the main-line, when MPDG holds back from punching him after blowing a fuse and ranting excessively in reaction to a comment he made during lunch, in front of everyone, they revel in the sense of superiority over him it gives them to come off cold in their hatred and don't resort to physical violence like he would, their next move is to pull strings to get him expelled, very satisfied with themselves, fully believing that somebody like him doesn't belong there. (elitarian, playing into the system, becoming the very thing they swore to destroy, etc; etc.)

Nothing quite like this, but they have issues getting along with a few others, get into arguments with Kaede despite trying to be friendly, they're uncomfortable around Gonta (oh, they despise feeling small and fragile, muscular men just so aren't their type, it's not a fear, it's not a fear, it's not- oh fuck, he could kill them on accident, what if he finds out they hate bugs?), and honestly they just find Korekiyo too much to unpack so they don't get in his business the way they love to do with most people.

When they can't drag it out any longer, their research is done, all information they wanted to sell is sold, everything is prepared to burn the school, the final karaoke is arranged and everyone but them and Izuru is at the venue, they finally set the flame, it's done. But the next step was to join others at the venue, have Izuru drive them there, swap places with their bodydouble, do a big reveal by showing them The MusicalTM (a movie they made mostly with the use of NWP, showing their story along with a very dramatic soundtrack, dancing performances included), give their friends the playlist they made for them and finally ask Kokichi to run away with them in a moment of having nothing to lose, leaving either way. That doesn't happen, because. Because their affair with Shuichi. No, the guilt isn't getting to them that much, maybe a little. They're pregnant and don't want anyone to know. It ruins their plan, so they choose to leave without saying anything, this way Kokichi won't hate them and at least saiou will have a chance. They sort of confess with a song in the musical, but they leave without goodbye, leaving him no way to reply. Telling Shuichi would only complicate things, since he's a good guy, who'd take responsibility and they don't want him.

Being a wanted criminal, they definitely leave Japan and live somewhere on the down low. They stop detoriating but the damage is already done, and they never rocover, so they're very scatterbrained and often dissociate til the end. Izuru also runs away and lives a quiet life. Junko gets arrested but gets out pretty quickly, she refused to help trask down MPDG or Izuru, but expressed certainity that neither of them will cause trouble again and proceeded to instead testify against HPA scientists, helped find people who were involved in the Kamukura project (they're not dead here, but if MPDG didn't show up with their dramatic ass plans, who knows what Junko & Izuru would have done on their own, it probably would be a lot closer to the Tragedy), used her Analyst talent to prevent some bigger terrorist attacks that would have hurt a lot of people (when theirs only destroyed the building and everything to do with NWP, except for the notes MPDG took with them. They considered selling the concept just like they did with other secrets, but even though they believe there could be better uses for it, it's too dangerous, so not a word of it gets out), she refuses to continue working with anti-terrorists later once she's not obligated to. Saiou get together and seem to have their happy ending, domestic ever after, except a few years later... a child shows up at their doorstep.

But that would be a sequel/an entirely separate thing, because it's just a little scenario I had, a maybe preteen-at-most weird girl shows up and flips their life upside down, MPDG left a will & letters in envelopes titled "Open when [specific situation that's kinda expected to happen happens, first one being "open when you've met her"]" and they're actually mostly adressed to Kokichi, some to Shuichi and some of the later ones are adressed to their daughter, set for birthdays and other big occassions. They always expected to die young and it never becomes evident or relevant how they died exactly, but there are things that could lead to it, like the damage from the NWP, their even older history with drugs, with dangerous people, their own mind becoming too restless after a few years of a peaceful and normal life, no matter how much they tried for their child, something was going to catch up to them, they were sure, so they were writing letters since they made their escape. All of that is not easy on saiou's relationship, but at this point they're either married or at least engaged, so it's not enough to tear them apart, once they calm down it's not like Shuichi did anything wrong by sleeping with MPDG months before they got together, frankly, he got played and Kokichi can recognize that. But the kid is there, and not only is Shuichi the closest & only* family (*technically, MPDG's parents are alive, but the link got lost a long thread of identities ago), but they're both written in the will to inherit everything, except for what they already put away on their daughter's savings account. So they're in for a ride.

[mainfaggot]

existence is so inherently selfish isn't it...?